Please Please Please I Need SLEEP

I have had insomnia before, therefore, it is not a shocker that I now have it again. However, this time it is different. Those of you who have suffered sleepless nights you can sympathize with me and you know the drill. Dead tired, crawl in bed, try try try to sleep. No sleep. ZZZZZZZZ sound of significant other sleeping beside you. Tick tock, tick tock (not really who doesn't have a digital clock in this day and age but work with me).

Where was I- tick tock, tick tock. As each hour passes you become more and more frustrated, more and more anxious. Until finally at about 3:00 or 4:00am you finally sleep.

Not this time. As soon as night falls I am waking up. I'm as wide awake at this moment 12:36am as I am in the middle of the day. Not a bit of sleepiness, drowsiness, absolutely nothing. I have moments during the day when it hits me that I might like a nap but then that passes...who has time to nap! I have lost my ability to sleep - is that possible? I am on day 3 of about 2 hours of sleep a night. Day one I just wasn't sleepy. Day two...before I realized it the time was 3 am and nothing.

Last night out of desperation as I lay in my bed (looking similar to the cartoon above) I remembered the happy pills I took years ago to fly - did I still have them? I was sure I did - if I could only find them. So there I was at 3:30am up to my elbows in drawers and medicine cabinets. I emptied old make up bags and finally at the back of the bathroom cabinet (the one you need to be on your hands and knees to reach) I found an old travel bag and viola happy pills. The last time I went on a hunt like this was for Zantac on a night of particularly bad heartburn or when I was a smoker and crazed for a cigarette. The dilemma was this- should I take one - half of one or none at all. One for sure would knock me out but I needed to get up early. None I ran the risk of not sleeping at all and I needed to get up early. A half a pill seemed just right so a half a pill it would be. I swallowed the pill and waited for the magic to happen and happen it did. Sort of. (Probably had something to do with them being 3-4 years old) There I laid becoming more and more like rubber - wide awake but unable to move or have much control over my legs or arms. I staggered back and forth to the bathroom - I was unable to read - I was unable to think - and ironically I was also unable to sleep. I finally crashed at 5:00am. Did I mention I had to get up at 7:30 which on it's own wouldn't have been so bad but now I had a happy pill hang over. It's been a very long day.

Tonight, I've opted for writing instead of taking drugs. It hasn't worked either just like the happy pill didn't work last night but at least I feel better and I can move my fingers and toes - and yes I am also very very much awake! Sigh did I mention Son#1 is getting married next week I suppose I could go as a Goth yes I might have to rethink my outfit!
Mama out (I wish).

Say Yes to the Dress

I have been watching Say Yes to the Dress long before Son#1 got engaged. However, it took on a special meaning after our families engagement announcement. I had the pleasure this past weekend to go wedding dress shopping with Son#1's lovely fiancée, her sister and Mom. Now I've seen the show and I've seen the mother in laws who say "No" to the dress. I wanted that our lovely daughter in law#1 got exactly what she had always hoped and dreamed for. I wanted to be positive and to edify and to not pressure at all in any direction but to be there for support and love. That was the plan anyway. Can I just say that in the show when the bride comes out and it's exactly the right dress..you know the part when everyone blubbers and breaks into the ugly cry. Yuppers that was me. It totally isn't fake on the show it is totally for real. I felt so bad for dear Anne when my waterworks set off some in her Mom and sister and all I could think of was "oh dear heavens what if she hates this dress and now I'm putting pressure when I was trying so hard not to.....stop crying JULIE..". You know you are in trouble when the bridal consultant is quickly leaving to bring you the big box of Kleenex. Sigh I am a huge sap. It didn't help when I tried to say grace the next morning morning at breakfast and express how thankful I was for this girl and her family and descended into the ugly cry again. What is my problem..I'll blame it on peri-menopause because surely I'm too young for menopause and too old to be pregnant. Happiness is a funny thing. Happiness is when your Son finds a girl and falls in love and she is just right for him. That is happiness and apparently my happiness manifests itself in non-stop snotty crying. Should be a great wedding...can I just say that there will definitely be a box of Kleenex somewhere near me...with me...on me....well you get my drift. And if all else fails I do have my beloved "happy pills" that make everything right. One happy sniffling Mama out.

Scared Out of My Wits

DH and I have been somewhat addicted to Netflix...well I have been the one addicted and I've just lured him into my sin! Have you ever been scared so bad that you really thought your chest would explode...you know the kind that takes you loads of time to "come down from"? I remember as a kid lying on my bed reading and hearing a banging on the underneath of my bed and thinking "I'm not hearing anything...I'm not hearing anything". As I mapped out my escape from my room I counted in my head one...two...three....took a breath and slowly dropped my legs over the side of the bed and bolted towards the door only to be grabbed from under the bed by my brother and dragged screaming under the bed. I remembered firsthand tonight what being that scared felt like. While watching a Jurassic Park type series tonight with DH...in the middle of the part where the velociraptor...clicks and is about to eat someone...you know the type of scene where you are riveted to the tv and the music is ominous and somebodies gonna die... just then I heard click click on the ceramic in the hallway. Just like the bed episode.. I had that same type of thought process..."I'm not hearing clicking in the house...I'm not hearing clicking in the house"...and you guessed it there WAS clicking. I caught movement out of the side of my eye to the left just as the velociraptor was about to eat someone out of the corner of my eye to the right and as I curled in the fetal position and stiffened like one of those goats that fall over with fright said in my lowest most terrified voice...."there's something in the house"! It turned out to be our dog who was supposed to be outside but somehow got inside unassisted just in time to scare the living daylights out of me and I in turn scared the living daylights out of my DH. He laughed afterward saying "where is Julie...well you see we were watching tv and the dog came in and now she's dead". So here I am now - I'm supposed to sleep with my adrenaline at the level of an Olympic sprinter just before a gold medal race. Not a chance and now that I think of it....I'm now down here alone and have to shut out the lights and make it upstairs....there is no clicking there is no clicking...stupid dinosaur movies. Mama almost out cold.

Here, There and Everywhere

I got a call from Son#1 saying he was safe on the ground. Really on the ground??...think think...I'm forgetting something obviously...yes he was going to Hamilton on a course and he was flying there. I am totally losing it. The one time he actually remembers to call me when he arrives and I forgot he was going anywhere. I have four kids and two of them are not living in the same place as me. Son #1 lives in another province and travels here, there and everywhere. Son #2 is on an internship at a church in Indiana. Both gone for now. Daughter #2 is in China and Daughter #1 is with us. I wasn't prepared for how different it would be with just the three of us instead of five of us. I'm not prepared for six of us when that happens. Son#1 is getting married and his lovely will be an awesome addition to our ever growing family making it seven....shrinking and growing. Funny how that works. Shrink a little...grow a little....I guess that is how it works. This parenting thing is always changing and I wouldn't have it any other way - yes this way they would all be here not there and everywhere! Mama out.

Life is Good

I was reminded by my sister-in-law, Cindy, this week that I haven't been updating my blog and to "get with it". So Cindy this one is for you! We experienced a death in our family last week with the loss of my DH's step father. With the funeral just a few short days behind me I've come to realise that funerals are more for the living than for the dead. It is an opportunity to put closure on a life and to transition into a time without that person. It is a crossroads of sorts. I met John the year after I met my husband. He made me laugh, he made me mad, he made me question, he made me get over stuff and this week he made me cry. He said something while in palliative care that I have been thinking on. He told a family relative when she indicated she had a sermon to prepare...he told her after thinking for a moment to talk about "Life is good". Now this is a man who was ravaged by lung cancer, had days to live, battled many things in his life but dwelled on Life is good. Is it? Good? After much thought here's what I think....Life IS good. Yes I could make more money, own more, laugh more, eat more, see my kids more, clean more, speak more, fix up the house more, travel more or make more of a difference however....for the most part Life....this life...right now..IS good. What a difference it would make if that was something that we owned and believed...Life is good. Life is good. Look around you. Look outside. Look at your family or friends. Look...smile and believe that "it is good". We have forgotten how simple "good" is.

"It is good to have walked by oneself five hundred miles in twenty days and one pair of boots (never needing the cobbler till the very last day) without any training and with a fairly heavy knapsack. It is good to have seen something on this and many other occasions, sometimes alone, sometimes in company, of the secret of the sea and the lessons of the land from Scilly to Skye; from the Land’s End to Dover; from the Nore to the Moray Firth; from Dartmoor to Lochaber; and from the Weald of Sussex to those Northumbrian lakes that lie, lonely and rather uncanny, under the Roman Wall. It is good to have attended evening chapel at Oxford, then gone up to town and danced all night (the maximum of dances with the minimum of partners), returning next morning and attending chapel again..."From “Conclusio ad Diversos,” the final chapter of Notes on a Cellar-Book, George Saintsbury (1920)

Rest now John. Thank you for the lesson. Mama out.

Somebody Has To Say It...

I didn't realise that it is natural for girls to want children. It wasn't until I began to watch Emily even as a baby pick up a doll and love it and try and care for it that it became evident to me that the maternal instinct seems to just be inside of us girls. As we grow we dream of meeting our prince and having children and that as a mother we will be the best mother ever. We will dress up these little children, play with them and they will love us and all will be wonderful. However, one day you wake up in a pair of grey sweatpants with your hair in a ponytail with puke on your shoulder, fingerprints on your pant legs and boobs leaking milk at every child that even looks in your general vicinity. I titled this "Somebody has to say it" because well somebody has to say this - just because we are women does not make us naturally good caregivers for children and being a mother is hard. Now don't get me wrong I love my kids but I realised very early on in my oldest sons little life that there was nothing natural in me concerning mothering. It was work and when I felt like I was going to explode if I had to spend one more day in the house I realised that maybe just maybe I wasn't cut out for it. I hated cleaning, I couldn't cook, I was lonely and I was starved for company. I got through the baby stage three times and my kids got through it unscathed but I vividly remember thinking "What is wrong with me". I've since learned there was nothing wrong with me or my kids I was just better suited for the boardroom instead of the babies room. I LOVE my kids and as they grew we got along much better. The older they got the better I got. We laughed, fought, yacked, and hung out. We still do actually even though one is 21 and just got engaged (to an amazing girl by the way), my nineteen year old challenges my thinking every single day and makes me laugh like no one else and Emily and I are just two chicks who hang out now. She tells me not to be rude and we giggle and shop and well we just have days with just the girls. I say all of this because I know there are Mom's out there beating themselves up because mothering wasn't what they expected (it's the hardest job I've ever had) and their emotions betray them, and girls we are great at giving ourselves a tremendous guilt trip. Guess what girlfriends you are normal. It is totally normal to question, it is normal to want out and it is totally normal to have to work at it. We leave the house and put on the happy Mom face and well girls it's time that we are honest and say there are days when we believe we are not good mothers and we compare ourselves to the yummy mommies as we drag around our excess baby weight for 2o plus years and wonder where we went wrong. Well I'm fessing up that it took me a while to figure it out and there were days when I didn't think I could make it but the rewards are amazing. Three kids and one on the way from China and each time I'm with my kids every grey hair they gave me was totally worth it. So stop beating yourselves up if you are...your kids will grow and it does get easier and one day like me you will look back at the mistakes and the wrong thoughts and realise you are human girls and you will figure it out. If you're reading this and want to encourage other Mom's out there post a comment and encourage another Mom to hang in there - Mama out.

The Psychiatrist is In

Mike and I were on a drive deep in the heart of rural NS last night. It was a beautiful night and we decided to just drive somewhere. We stopped at a little school for Emily to play when she had one of those "I need to pee NOW" moments. Not being a child who will do that business outside let alone in the middle of a country village. With not a bathroom in sight DH and I just stared blankly at each other with the "oh oh" gaze that we parents get from time to time. As only God can do the door of the school opened up and a man and his wife (the caretakers) were leaving for the night. SCORE one bathroom. An hour later I knew they voted NDP, that they were married for 38 years, they lived together in Ontario before they were married, his first car was $1300 and he was turned down for a loan for $300 and who co-signed for it. I know where he works and did work specifically the years and companies.....need I go on. I love living in Canada...I love that for some reason wherever I go folks tell me stuff that most people only tell their spouses after 2o years of marriage. Like the woman at Walmart that asked me when I was in a rush what the fuzzy mohair sweater looked like and proceeded to tell me she had a husband once who did things to her, I can't repeat. When DH came looking for me after an hour and found me with this slightly larger, emotionally upset women...he just shook his head and graciously allowed me to bow out of the situation. Waitresses, flight attendants, bank tellers and the list could go on - total strangers reveal within mere minutes things that would make Howard Stern blush. It was a great night and I'm not complaining this couple was typical of what makes up rural NS and I loved them. I remembered that I really am a country girl at heart. So the next time you go out with me don't be surprised if you find yourself alongside me getting to "really" know the people that cross our paths. I should have been a cop or a psychiatrist! Mama out.

Writers Block

Well it's been a while. I can't believe I've been somewhat underground since Halloween. Lots of changes and challenges over the past year. Today is the one year anniversary of Mom's death. Seems like only yesterday that I saw her and I can't believe it's been a year. Over this past year my family has been redefined and looks and feels completely different than last year. In some ways it is the best it has ever been and in others the worst. I'm learning about relationships and what a real one is all about and focusing on my relationship with Christ and what that looks like because all of my others will reflect that. I started a new job in January, and I've been settling into that. Baby girl turned 4, Son #1 is doing great but still living away and Son#2 is going to be the best Pastor ever. My life has turned upside down in the past year but all for the best. So now I need to move forward and just leave it all behind me and not even focus on the future but really embrace today. We are not guaranteed tomorrow so today I will enjoy all that God has blessed me with. Mama down but definitely not out!

The Ghost of Halloween Past

Well another Halloween has come and gone. It made me think of Andrew and just how much he disliked Halloween as a kid...who am I kidding he still dislikes it. Every year I would dress up my two little boys in these elaborate costumes that took forever to make and take them by the hand to go door to door to not only "talk to" but "take candy from" strangers. "Mommy you want me to talk to that man"? "Yes yes....go on up and go in his house he has candy for you"!This year with the H1N1 scare I contemplated dressing Emily up as a surgeon just so she could wear the gloves, scrubs and face mask. I have visions of parents all over the city wiping down each treat with copious amounts of Purell. You know the spray that they spray your bowling shoes with...that's what we all need. Yum! Andrew liked red gum balls, plain Hostess chips and Eatmore bars. First most gumballs given come in packs of four with different colors. Hostess chips not a problem and I have never seen Eatmores given out on Halloween. Needless to say as our little lambie would go...no be dragged to the door some poor homeowner would no doubt say what a cute little boy what are you? Andrew usually put the "a mutant ninja turtle - moron" look on his little five year old face and assess the treat situation like they had placed a neatly wrapped turd in front of his face. "No thank you I don't like licorice". "No thank you I only like red gumballs". "No thank you I'm allergic to apple juice". All the while Matt is opening his pillowcase and begging...."I'll take it I'll take it"! At the end of each Halloween night Matt would count his treasure trove of treats that would make any dentist scream in terror and Andrew would turn his pumpkin upside down...count his four gum balls and 5 bags of chips because that was all that fit in the pumpkin and vow to not go out next year. We stopped trick or treating a couple of years later as it was just torturous and started doing something fun on Halloween night - a movie, or bowling or whatever Andrew wanted to do and then would buy Matt whatever candy he wanted...and Andrew finally got his Eatmore bars. This year when I was getting ready to carve the pumpkin Emily said "No it's too scary". When I wanted to get her a costume "No thank you I no like trick or treat". You can see where this is going. We spent the night with friends last night who gave her a huge bucket of stuff...oh it was filled with cheese....yes I said cheese and chips and candy bars...and fun stuff....Emily dug down deep and with delight hauled out all the cheese and counted each one delighted in this whole Halloween gig if it meant a bucket full of cheese! Cheese...mercy. Let's just say not too many folks handing out cheese this Halloween..but Uncle Jimmy and Auntie Shelly are her heroes now! Don't be alarmed if you don't see us on Halloween we're probably holed up at home eating Eatmore bars, cheese cubes and heaven only knows what else! Donairs...yes that that would make Andrew smile! You now know why I have come to dislike Halloween myself!

When to stop buying diapers?

You would think that I would be able to remember how I stopped wearing diapers on the boys. Yes I know that they are 18 and 20 years old but they are my only point of reference for Emily. Here's how I knew they had reached certain milestones. Matt walked up to me one day, handed me his soother and said " I don't think I need this anymore". "Okey dokey"...time to get rid of the soother. Andrew was able to put his bubba on the second shelf of the cupboard (without a stool)...no problem, time to pack away the bubba -no conflict. Emily still wears a diaper at night. Two days ago while she was using the "facilities" she realised that we were out of TP and from the washroom came this yelling little voice - "Hey we need toilet paper". The next morning when I removed her diaper she promptly went down stairs and told Mike - "Daddy you need to go to Sobeys - I need toilet paper and diapers...I want Cinderella diapers". That night when we picked her up from the babysitters from the backseat came this nagging voice "Daddy did you get my diapers"? Rule #45 in potty training if your child can give directions to the grocery store, order diapers and follow up with you to see if you got said diapers...yes it is time to stop buying them. Good to know. Mama out.

Dog Biscuits...really

I was at a women's Bible study a few weeks back when a sheet of paper was passed around asking everyone to bake 3 dog biscuits. Yes 3 dog biscuits. I had never made dog biscuits before but hey if they needed them how hard would it be to make 3 and everyone else in the room had signed up so hey sign me up too. It wasn't until days later in a conversation with someone they mentioned having to schedule in the time to make 3 dozen biscuits that the light bulb went off! 3 Doz biscuits aka 3 dozen...not 3 dog...sigh! It gave me a chuckle at our grand opening to think...imagine would you like a bowl of chili and oh we have this dog biscuit to go with it...what a loser I am sometimes...but it was good for a huge laugh. Let the record show that I was willing to do it! Mama out.

The Difference between Mothers and Fathers

Emily asked me to build her a tower. I thought I did a pretty decent job she was happy and for an hour I was her hero until DH came home and decided that this was not an acceptable tower and well he could do better so he built this monstrosity.

The decision was to build his version of the Sears Tower. Mine well mine was sub standard actually mine is what most Mom's would build in between everything else that has to be done around the house and DH's was what most men would build. Now DH is out and the Sears Tower toppled with a humongous crash which for the record can be added to the things that have made my heart skip a beat and my tower is no longer "da bomb" and well did I mention I hate blocks. You see if mine falls down it takes two seconds to put back together if "the Tower" falls down I need an engineer to rebuild it. I was thinking that I would buy a Litebrite for Em but after this show of competitiveness I'm sure whatever I made...off the top of my head I'd say a heart wouldn't compare to the New England Patriots logo DH would probably make. So I'm leaving the building to him and the hair care to me and everything will be just fine. I respect single parents for this very reason they need to be mother and father and do things that might not come naturally to them. When it's just one in my house anyway the little tower is what happens. I think we need to do a better job of loving on these parents and loving on these kids whenever we can just to even things out a bit and maybe give a them a bit of a break sometimes. Why not find a single parent in your sphere of influence and do something nice for them this week to encourage them I'm sure they would appreciate it! Mama out.

Bedtime is Crib time?

Wow I can't believe that this much time has passed and I haven't posted. Just goes to show you that old habits die easy not hard! Life is moving along and Em is growing like a weed. Her new thing is that DH is "dah man". "Daddy you're the best king ever"! Yes he is...yes he is. I've been thinking that I should be putting Em in a big girl bed but well she loves the crib and the whole she hasn't figured out that she can get out just yet seems to be working for me. So what if she will be almost four. I figure Son#1 had a soother until he could talk in complete sentences, Son#2 had a bubba at night until he was 7 why not sleep Em in a crib until......well....just until I can have an adult conversation with her around the whole "don't even think about getting out of that bed a hundred times"conversation and "while your at it could you take that diaper off too". Not quite sure when I'm going to venture into the diaperless sleeping. That is the worst. I remember Son#1 was brutal - in and out and in and out and in and out of our bedroom and up and down the stairs and crying and...well you get the picture. Em can sleep in the crib until she's twelve I don't care. I remember waking up and Son#2 would be a centimetre from my nose and just about give me a heart attack and I was 27. I'm 45 now I will have a heart attack! No I think the crib is lovely just lovely. It amazes me at just how laid back this mature parenting is. No pressure...no pushing....just chillin with the family. We are so not the scheduled, say a thousand words, participate in every thing parents that we used to be. Somehow maybe Em got ripped - but I don't think so. There is plenty of time for all of that really. Family is what we are trying to push, to be with and enjoy your family and to know what it means to be part of it. Yes plenty of time for that other stuff and plenty of time to be in a big girl bed I say who needs the conflict. Not this mature Mama. Mama out.

On the Move

Now isn't this a handsome couple! This is Son #2 with his prom date Kayla. This weekend marked another milestone in our home. Another prom down and another graduation on the way. We are so proud of Andrew. Andrew loves God and has some pretty definite plans around what he wants to do with his live. He received a full scholarship to University and is just heading into this young adult male portion of his life. He has his head screwed on just right and is about to embark on his journey of independence from us and we couldn't be happier for him. I look at this picture and can not believe where the time has gone. In a blink we are here. I've not been writing much because of some bad ju ju happening in my extended family since Mom's death and it has been disturbing to say the least. As I look at this picture I realise that this is what part of my life has been about. Raising Godly men and women and doing the best that you can for a Creator that entrusted this child to us. This stage in parenting is always the worst because as they begin a life independent of you there is this release back to God with the prayer "let him be all he can be for You". "May he fulfill his every purpose that You have created him for and may he soar to heights that only you can take him". Life is about focusing on the positive and not the negative life is about moving on...I am moving on past my extended family and the mess surrounding my Mom's death.....Andrew is moving on past the years of high school and adolescence, Matt is moving through his career as an officer serving our country and Emily is moving past the trying threes, Mike is moving along with us supporting, praying and finding his place alongside of us. The point is we are moving and that is ever so much better than standing still and stuck in the past...Moving that's where our family is right now on the move and I couldn't be happier. Will it all be smooth? No way and what fun would that be! Mama out.

This is Son #2 and DH (Dear husband). We got some really really good news today for Son #2. He's always done well in school and carries a great average. Through this whole sickness thing with Mom I haven't been in my right mind and not as sharp as I usually am around this stuff but he missed the deadline for entrance scholarships for every school he applied to. I felt so frustrated at myself and felt so bad for him because he has worked so hard. He kept saying "it's ok Mom God will work it out". Today he got a call from one of the universities he applied to offering him a $7,000 renewable four year scholarship! It is incredible because he didn't apply for anything. He missed the application deadline but just like he kept saying "God will work it out Mom", well He did. I don't know why I get so shocked. Where is my faith for goodness sake. We have faith but do we have faith with CERTAINTY? Son #2 had certainty and God faithfully rewarded him. I love when that happens. Mama out.

True Colors

All the colors of the rainbow and what are yours? What is your true color that is shining through? I've been thinking about this today. Mama Out.

Life after Death

It's taken me quite a while to be able to actually sit with a clear enough head and begin to write again. February and March have been a blur for me. With Mom's sickness and then her death it has somewhat consumed me. Like walking through quicksand it seemed like the more I moved the more I sank so I just stayed still. I am like a caterpillar coming out of a cocoon all weak and fragile but changed. Death will do that to you like no other thing. I have thought much over the past several weeks since Mom's passing and I am thankful for so much. The picture that I have posted is of all the cards you sent to her when she was sick. How she loved getting these letters, they were wonderful cards filled with pictures, love, along with the assurances and promises of God's word. She would say "make sure you thank these people" and I did but I want to do it again...Thank you from the bottom of my heart for just giving something for a sick Mom to look forward to during days when all of the news was bad. I am thankful that I listened to that little voice in my head that said...get people to send cards and to tell your Mother what you think of her. I wrote the previous post and my sister read it to her and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved her unconditionally. I am thankful that I was able to pray with my Mother and she is with the Lord right now! I am thankful that I was able to make her porridge, thankful I knew she loved me, thankful I was there when she died and thankful oh so thankful for the Mother I had. I'm ok now because Mom and I were ok. I have my family and I have my church family, friends and a heavenly Father that holds me in the palm of His hand...so my life will go on as it is supposed to. What I will take from this is all the good that my Mom was and all the positive things that happened throughout this experience and I will live as Mom would have wanted me to. Live and grow and learn and love and whatever else is in between with passion and with conviction and with purpose and with wide open abandon. Everyday is a gift my friends and we are guaranteed nothing other than this moment that we are in. Let's make the most of those moments and not waste a single one. Mama out.

Chinese New Year and Two Year Anniversary

Happy New Year...It's now the Year of the Ox. We are going out to celebrate with the Zee's and the Lai's and the MacGregor's on Saturday night. We are still getting our feet wet with the whole Chinese culture thing. We have decided that instead of us try and teach Emily which would end up stereotyping the culture that we would make sure that she had some good Christian Chinese families that would take her under their wing and teach her what it means to be Chinese because well they are Chinese. We will teach her what it is like to be a daughter, a sister, a grand daughter, a niece and a Chaisson. It has been two years since God placed Emily in our arms and we are so blessed truly blessed to have her in our lives. I can't imagine life without her. She has melted our hearts and she has brought so much joy into our lives. We see Emily as Emily. We don't see Chinese. I know that sounds odd but we don't. She is just our daughter who we are thankful for each and every day that we see that smile and her "Good Morning Mom"! Oh how things change but in this case it was definitely for the better. Mama out.

Bananagrams

I bought this game for one of the boys last year for Christmas in their sock. We never opened it we never played it. We were snowed in today and as I was looking for something else I ran across this. After much much much cajoling, threatening, eye rolling Son #2 and DH agreed to play with me. We're addicted! I love this game. It's sort of like scrabble but much faster and much more fun.

It's an anagram game that will drive you bananas!! It's fast, fun, requires no pencil, paper or board. All you need is a flat surface. It comes with 144 letter tiles that come in a yellow, cloth banana zip bag. Not sure about the whole banana theme but it's compact enough to chuck in your purse. All you have to do is select some tiles and form your own collection of connecting and intersecting words (crossword style).One hand can be played in as little as 5 minutes. It can be played solitaire (1 player ) or up to 8 players. It get's very competitive and intense especially with my two "must win at all cost guys". Emily liked it too just to pick out letters. I searched it up on the internet and it was selected as the Top ten toy at the International Toy Fair. Very addictive...very fun. Hey if it pries the folks away from the tv for an hour I say yahoo! Mama goin bananas out! What are your favorite games to play?

Why Teenagers Shouldn't Build Snowmen

It snowed like crazy here on Saturday and Son #2 upon my prompting took Emily outside to make her very first snowman. Well a large head with a massive tongue...baby eating head. This is why teenagers shouldn't make snowmen...especially baby eating ones. Em loved it...can't say I did but I did have to chuckle at his creativity. Love those kids. Mama Out.