Up and At Em'

I'm awake and happy pill-less. I actually didn't take one I was so freaked about feeling drugged the next day I decided not to. Surprise, Surprise I actually fell asleep two nights in a row. Yes. Of course I'm wide awake now but that's ok I've had two half decent nights sleep. Great church tonight. They had baptisms. There was a boy named Joseph and a girl named Brooke. They are brother and sister. This young girls story that she told was so compelling and raw. She started by saying that she had a tough life. Bear in mind this was a young teen. Her parents had been divorced, then years later they got back together. She felt lost because her parents fought all the time and she said in her bedroom one night she decided that she couldn't go it alone anymore. Her brother looked like someone from the tv show Intervention which actually was his story. Recovering drug addict. Recovering alcohol abuser. Recovering from many many vices. He wasn't twenty I don't think. Great tattoos though. They started coming out to church on Saturday nights and the lives of their entire family has turned around. Then there was the grandma who after being dunked raised her arms like she had just watched the end of an amazing race that came down to the wire and who she was rooting for won! She did the fist pump in the air going Woot Woot! Great music, great stories and great message. I realised something else today. We pray and hope that God shows up. What I learned today is that He is there long before we ever arrive. He has checked out the place beforehand and He's there anticipating our arrival. The question is do we see Him or do we go about hoping and praying that He will show up. Not only is He already there but He's just waiting for us to believe and to see Him. I saw God in the faces of these children today. I saw Him in the face of the grandma. He was there oh yah He was there! How can you sleep when you have seen God reflected in the faces of His people. Awesome! Mama out.

Bring on the happy pills

I have given up sleeping it seems. Night after night I am awake, wide awake at twelve, one and even two o'clock in the morning. Late nights make Julie a very hateful, cranky person. I am finding myself looking at people now and imagining the horrible, terrible things I would love to do to them for seemingly simple things like turning left in front of me or not making my breakfast sandwich toasted on a twelve grain bagel lightly buttered with egg and cheese and no meat. Yes no meat seems simple enough doesn't it. I'm ok. My family isn't though. They have been my entourage of late desperately carting things to and from the car, making supper and tip toeing around the bear who apparently has taken up residence in the house. I found myself the other night taking Son#1's keys...can't even remember why and for a nano second almost threw them in the lake. Oh I need help. Son #2 snapped me out of it. "Mom Mom...over the top". We did finally laugh in the end but for 30 seconds I nearly had to dig out the wet suit that probably doesn't fit me anymore and go snorkeling for Honda keys. Oh I need to sleep and tonight my friends I sleep. I am so taking a happy pill. I know I know they are just for flying but well occasionally I have caved and taken one for sleeping and well this forty something year old needs her zzzz's. Tomorrow I might even smile! Did I tell you I joined a gym and have a personal trainer...yah I'm hiding from her. She keeps calling wondering why I haven't come to the gym this week. I'd go but she scares me and well the whole hateful thing and exercise doesn't mix. Well maybe it does Son #1 keeps telling me it's a commitment, make it a priority, you can do it...blah blah blah. How about you swim to the middle of the lake and let's play who can find the Honda keys...kidding kidding. I did finally apologize today after a week of terrorizing my family it's bad when you start to wonder "did I just say and do that". But tomorrow tomorrow is another day and tomorrow I will have slept. So night night all...forgive me for the happy pill relapse but the sleep will be sweet. Mama about to be somewhat drugged signing out!

Maria Sue Chunxi Chapman

I have been thinking about the Chapman family ever since this tragedy hit their family last week. I was with Matthew in Halifax when Mike called me. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I can't even tell you why. Of course I thought of our Emily and all the other beautiful children who came home with us from China. I thought of Andrew and how his life would be forever altered if that had been him. I thought of the Chapman's and their incredible outpouring of love for the orphans of the world. I thought of their daughter Emily and of Mary Beth and how devastated they must be. As I read the account of what happened my chest tightened with each and every detail. I cried. I cried at the restaurant with Matt, I cried all the way home. I cried and cried and cried for a little girl I didn't even know. For a little girl who had such a tough start in life and it just seems so unfair to me that it should end this way. I know God didn't do this but it happened. I know that God is in control but it is at times like these that I just sigh and wonder why? The Chapman's are incredible people. They are extraordinary Christians who put up and do and do and do. They love God. I guess believing in God doesn't guarantee us a tragedy free life. It's important to realise I guess that we can't be in a place that we want the tragic things to happen to unbelievers. It isn't about the haves and the have nots. It isn't. I remember struggling to forgive someone and whining because of something good that happened to them and God rebuked me pretty hard showing me that I was jealous of his grace. I can't want to arrive safely at death but when I see something like this happen. Anyway you get my point. I still love God but this is one of those times when an answer just doesn't seem possible. I remember being in a play about John and Betty Stamm and how they were killed in China as missionaries. I asked the same why. I guess that's the thing about a relationship with God is we can ask why. I'm sure that there will be many families who will adopt now because of Maria. Certainly the $100,000 that's been raised already in her name will go to providing a child for many other families. I'm sure that good will come from this it always does but oh baby the hurt that has to happen. Pray for the Chapman's in the "successfullness" of our lives a week from now we will move on but it is then that they will need our prayers most. Little Maria how sad. No more can be said.

Environmental Portraits

I'm in week number six of a ten week photography course. I'm loving it. Each week we are given an assignment to take photos. We are to take hundreds...at least I do. We then each have to bring in four that we critique. This week my assignment was to do environmental pics and the four below are the four best. An environmental photo is a pic of a person that you can tell a story about them or something about their personality or profession by the picture. The top two favorites were picture #1 and #2 but all four got good reviews! Hope you enjoy them as much as I did taking them.



Gary Carson. First Picture I took as I was setting my
light. I snapped this just as he was asking me if I wanted
to see his tattoo. I love this picture. I love Gary too. Great
subject. My teacher absolutely loved this because he said
a Jewish tattoo makes him think of the holocaust and all the
bad memories but when you glance up at his face it's a great
happy face. I agree. Ask Gary about his other tattoo on
the other side...hee hee...


Pastor Donald. Poor Pastor. This was after 400 pictures
and about 2 hours can you tell? I paid off because the
composition is good (so my teacher says) and who wouldn't
love that face. It was a toss up between Gary and Donald
as the fav's but Gary squeaked by to take the #1 spot.
Guess you need a tattoo Donald!



Son #1! Doesn't he look mean and fighter pilotish. Funny
thing though that hole beside him housed a bird and well
when it flew by my head let's just say....never mind I hate
critters especially ones whooshing by my head. Angle was good
because it made him look evil! Oh Yah!

My friend Haley....isn't she b.e.a.u tiful! It was a toss up
between her and her father but well Jerry she's prettier
than you and my instructor really liked it. I'm going to get
Andrew to do some post production on this with photoshop
and it will be even more rockin.

I hope you enjoy the pictures.

On a sad note. Pray for the Steven Curtis Chapman family. Their youngest daughter Maria was killed in a motor vehicle accident on Wednesday. Maria was the third daughter they adopted from China. She was five years old. Her brother about my Son#2's age accidentally hit her while backing down the driveway. She died on the way to the hospital. She is with the Lord now but her family and many who care about them are devastated for them. They will need our prayers. The full story and a video about Maria is on his official website but don't look if you aren't prepared to cry your eyes out. I've been crying off and on most of the day. Mama sad today signing out!

Pop Culture and the Church

http://newsok.com/themes-about-faith-leap-from-big-screen/article/3244460/?tm=1210983363
Follow this link to read the newspaper article that Tim Stevens participated in discussing the use of pop culture within a church service. It is a contentious issue with many Christians and he explains a couple of movies and songs and how they used them. Mama out.

Pop Culture and Movies

We went to see Prince Caspian on Friday loved it. This interview references Tim Stevens who wrote Pop Goes the Church and using pop culture in the church. It was the book I proofed before it was printed. A bit of an explanation how pop culture is used.

Has a month passed by???

Is this not the greatest picture? One of my favorites from my photography course that I'm taking. So let's see what's up? I finished work and although emotional on the day I left the next week was much better. You don't realise how much your job defines you. I started working with DH (oh...this is Dear Husband not D*##@ Husband) crack me up. Well it could be the other one depending on the day but 99% of the time it's Dear. After being fired a couple of times and not leaving he gave up. I am actually really really enjoying it. I have an office at the new Re/max offices in Dartmouth and so far so good. I think I like the fact that I just have to get "my" work done and not have to think about 140 ish other people. I guess my job had more pressure than I realised at the time. You know what they say a change is as good as a rest. I'm still praying about a job opportunity I've been meeting with someone so if you could be praying God's will in this that would be awesome. I'm still going to stay working with DH part time though because it frees him up to do what he does best. He's an awesome realtor! However, I'm a bit biased. Superior Propane had a going away dinner for me which I so appreciated. It truly was lovely and I have to say no matter what , they have treated me like gold since the day I walked in the door. Some hiccups along the way but hey who doesn't. It was nice to see everyone again (well almost everyone...sniff sniff) and actually our President and my boss came as well which meant a lot to me. So here is how good God is. I wanted a GPS for my car but with the whole unemployed thing and about $5000 extra I opted not to. My team (I love them) got me a GPS for my car. Awesome one that can be removed for Geocaching....oh yah baby. The other thing that I desperately needed for the trip to Odessa was a new lens for my camera....long story but mine got broken again. It still worked but kept falling apart but again with the whole unemployed thing. The leadership team of Superior gave me A NEW LENS!! You see God looks after absolutely everything....even the seemingly unimportant. God is definitely in the details. I can't tell you enough how special this was for me as an evening and how it gave perfect closure to an incredible career with an incredible company. They are going through change now and with change comes hurt and the parting of ways and sometimes bonehead decisions however at the core of this company are solid, good good people. I love them all. It is time to move on and I left that dinner knowing yes I did the right thing. I started a camera course and love it. Imagine me sitting through a 2 1/2 hour class and being engaged and not twisting in my skin. Every week I'm there and every week you will see me somewhere snapping pictures. I wanted to learn how to use the camera before I went to Odessa. Hopefully it will improve my pics while I'm there. Son #1 had an awesome year in school....just one more mark and hopefully it's enough that he will make the Dean's list. Hey he got an A+ in Calculus!! I failed that sucker 3-4 times. I've blocked it from my memory. I'm actually here moving some of his stuff back. He does his flight test on Tuesday for his private pilots license. Pray for him all of you. I joined a gym. Ok...get back up off the floor.....I'm actually going and it's ok. I am in the ladies part which translates into a whole passel of overweight middle aged women who are nasty. I keep out of their way. It's a battle it's a battle. Son #2 is just fine still making me laugh outloud all the time. He keeps me grounded. I've started writing on my book again. Chapter two. Progress. Don't forget to check out my Children from the Heart blog....the link is in the links part of this blog. It's all good. I'm just trying to daily take the next right step. I saw the new Ironman movie loved it....loved it.....also check out the new books I've read and am reading. So there you have it...Mama in a flooded out part of NB signing out....