The Call

I got the call this morning from Son #1.... "Mom it isn't a gun it's a weapon". Someone hold me back. Sorry Mattie.... You say tomato I say tomaaaaaaato. Of course he is talking about the "weapon" in the last post I did on his basic training bunk. I chuckled because it made me think about the time the school called for Son #2 because he brought a weapon to school in Grade one. DH and I quickly headed off to the elementary school in shock thinking that somehow our precious little lambie had obtained a lethal weapon and could have killed himself or someone else. When we arrived at the school there was our sweet little angel (NOT just looked like one) sitting around a table of three adults with the weapon in question sitting in the middle. An automatic full assault Power Ranger Ray Gun. He borrowed it from a friend. We all know why from my earlier post. He had great fun pretending to annihilate all the girls on the playground until his teacher walked around the corner and became collateral damage. It was a serious offense! I'm not kidding... they were ready to have him psychoanalyzed. They were concerned because when the teacher took the gun that he kicked her. Now I must tell you in all of the years that the kids were in school this lady was a piece of work. Short and stocky with a major knot in her face. Well when she grabbed Son #2 and accosted the weapon from him he kicked her in the shins. She told me this with great delight I'm sure because she thought that Son #2 would be mortally wounded by us. She had this smug look and before I knew it my lips engaged before my brain and well "I told her if she talked to me the way she was now talking to him I would have kicked her too". At this point DH just wanted to get the weapon the boy and the wife and get out of Dodge. After Son #2 and I went to anger management (not really but almost) we took back the very dangerous Power Ranger Ray Gun to the next door neighbour and brought the boy home. I hugged him. Told him not to shoot girls or kick teachers - kissed him on the head....patted him on the behind...told him to go outside and have fun. We are so serious with our kids sometimes. So thanks Matt for making me remember that and yes sirree it is a weapon and not simply a gun and don't point it at anyone, don't chase girls with it and if you were here I'd kiss you on the head and pat you on the behind and tell you how proud I am of you. Ok I wouldn't pat you on the behind...well maybe it's a nice tushie. Sorry Sorry...Mama out.